We Are Running Out Of Paperclips Inter-Office Memo By Ingrid Jackson – TheNutsLoose.com

It has come to our attention that our staff is in an uproar because we are running out of paperclips. Due to some imminent budget cuts, we stopped ordering paperclips last month on the 26th. We want you to know that we are working very hard to find a solution to this problem, as we know that during your workday you have papers to clip and a stapler just won’t do!

This brings me to a very important announcement and I must now let you know that as of this week we have also ceased to order staples, disposable coffee cups, sugar, milk and cream. Our hearts are with you, therefore we will continue to order coffee, but if you want to drink it, as of this Friday we will start deducting $1.00 from each and every one of your paychecks, to cover for the expense of the water used to brew the coffee. You will need to bring your own coffee cups and please keep in mind that if your coffee cup is not disposable, you are not allowed to wash it throughout the day. If you are caught washing your coffee cup in the break room or seen washing it in the bathroom via our hidden cameras, we will have to start charging you $2.00 a week instead of $1.00 to cover you water expenses!!

If you bring milk from home for your coffee, please stop by the… Continue reading here!

If you need to contact Ingrid Jackson “The Nut” just click here!

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TheNutsLoose.com FREE Low Self Esteem Support group

Before we start we would like to announce that unfortunately the peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.

And for those of you worried about current events, please know that you are not alone. Don’t let worry kill you off – let the us help!

This picture is courtesy of Amir Kuckovic
http://www.flickr.com/photos/childofwar/4028771033/

Support Group Schedule:
Our Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet on Sundays at 5 AM. Please use the back door and don’t look at anyone on your way in!

Cheer up, cause remember…
“A day without sunshine is like, night.”

P.S. About our Saturday early morning car parade… don’t forget to please “Honk if you love Peace and Quiet”

Thank You
The Nut!
http://TheNutsLoose.com/

Please note that the author or authors of some of the jokes above are unknown, if you know any of them, please let us know and say hi for us.

QUESTIONS? – If you have any questions about this or any other very unimportant and non-existing event of ours, or for anything else for that matter; Please feel free to contact us by clicking on the link below and follow the directions carefully. Failure to do so, may cause us to never get your message!!!

Please DON’T do that cause then you’ll have… Continue reading at TheNutsLoose.com

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Nut In Training Exercises

1) Reply to everything someone says with “that’s what you think”

2) Make beeping noises when a person backs up

3) Sing along at the opera

4) Finish all your sentences with “accordance to prophesy”

5) Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you’ll be saying more.

6) Never make eye contact

7) Meow occasionally

8) Walk around with a cooler that say “human head” on the side

9) In an elevator, draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your “personal space.”

10) Announce in a crowded place, in a demonic voice: “I must find a more suitable host body.”

11) Staple papers in the middle of the page.

12) Publicly investigate just how slowly you can

…………….Continue Reading here

 

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Ingrid Jackson is Interviewed About “The Nut Show” 4 TheNutsLoose.com – YouTube

Ingrid Jackson is Interviewed About “The Nut Show” 4 TheNutsLoose.com – YouTube.

Visit The Nut at http:///TheNutsLoose.com

Contact The Nut here!

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TheNutsLoose.com | The nut talks about her morning coffee…

I dunno why, nobody cares, but yeah, she insisted and now we all have to sit here and read this crap about the nut and her stupid mornings, her coffee and all that other crap.

The interjections are mine, but she has NO idea that I was there, or here now with you and all of us together, sooo don’t tell her.

If I lose my job, which in a sense makes my whole identity, we, meaning you, I and everybody else in her head and here all of us gathered today, are going to have some major problems. Just saying! Ohh yeahh I mean it, it is on!

Who am I?… Who am I?

OMG, I know you didn’t just ask that… it’s me Sammy, everybody knows that, hellooo!

Anyway, I don’t want to waste anymore of my precious time with you…

Ohh please shut up, if you had something better to do you would not be here right now reading this crap, who are you kidding?!?

Sooo, without further ado here is some bullshit for you to read and to waste your time with even further.

—————————-

Author the nut

There is something very magical about the first cup of coffee. (Okaaay) I love waking up very early, when everyone else is still sleeping to enjoy the stillness and solitude that the first morning silence brings. (That is when she makes her master plan to kill us all!!) After feeling grateful for another day, (another opportunity to write crap like this one) there is nothing like pairing that feeling with a nice hot cup of coffee. (Roiiight, sooo that’s what you call it!!)

It is my time to gather my thoughts for the day, (I wonder where she…

continue reading at…  TheNutsLoose.com | The nut talks about her morning coffee….

The image above is courtesy of [by akeeris] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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TheNutsLoose.com | Speaking English Could Kill Ya!! :-)

TheNutsLoose.com | Speaking English Could Kill Ya!! .
Don’t risk it… fin out more by clicking on the link above!!

Suffering from Low Self Esteem?
Join Our FREE Low Self Esteem Support Group Today!

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TheNutsLoose.com | Stupid signs – Funny :-)

For more funny and stupid signs, please visit “The Nut” by clicking on the link below…

TheNutsLoose.com | Stupid signs – Funny .

Have something to say to “The Nut” Contact her here!

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TheNutsLoose.com | Drive Thru Invisible Driver Prank

“When I have a kid, I’m going to go to the mall, put him into a double stroller, and run around looking frantic.” – Unknown

“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”

― George Carlin

Stupid & funny stuff

Contact us here!

Watch this hilarious video by clicking below!

via TheNutsLoose.com | Drive Thru Invisible Driver Prank.

TheNutsLoose.com | Best Moments of Sheldon Cooper – Big Bang Theory

“There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

There is another theory which states that this has already happened.” ― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

The Big Bang Theory is one of my favorite TV shows, it is smart and hilarious.

Here is a video full of laughter. To watch video just click on the link below!

via TheNutsLoose.com | Best Moments of Sheldon Cooper – Big Bang Theory.

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